Is He/She Into Me....or Not?

As I wrote in my first blog entry, I've given out tons of love advice. In fact, I've given out so much that people asked me why it took me so long to start blogging. It started out as basic advice while in high school, and then went into college and then graduated into my radio show. The show was basic, on Internet mostly, and featured various genres music, all of my own choosing. I tried to feature a mix of previously unreleased songs by well-known artists, as well as artists that were not as known. Then, at the height of the show, I'd announce my 15 minute segment where listeners could call in and ask me questions. Initially, I started out thinking it would be mostly music related, but as the questions became about music suggestions for different environments, the segment soon became one of giving advice. All topics were covered, but eventually the segment came to be about love problems and issues. During that time, I heard a wide range of topics, from the most basic to things that would make Maury Povich cringe. I thanked my listeners over and over for the ability to not only connect with them personally, but for their belief in me and my ability to try to advise them.

Over time, there became a bit of repetition with the questions that focused on relationships. The one that was the most asked, hands down, was how to tell if someone was interested in them on a romantic level. How can I tell if the person I'm into even likes me?

As each situation varies, and circumstance per couple aren't the same across the board, there are simple ways to know if you are on their radar and that you aren't in that 'friend zone'. I've listed some below, so if any of these apply to you and your situation, you are definitely one step ahead of the curve, so to speak. Do not assume they are in like simply because one situation has occurred, however, keep in mind that there should be combinations.

He/She pays attention to the small details. If you mention something in passing, and it gets brought up later, either in action or in conversation, signs that they retain information related to you is a sign of interest. The big details are easy, but the small things show they are focused on you. For example, I dated a guy who took me to a Mexican place, and I stated that I strongly disliked cilantro . A few days later, I was craving carne asada tacos. In his attempts to impress me, he brought some to me, minus the cilantro. When I asked him how he knew, he responded, "The last time we had Mexican, you said it tastes like soap." Sadly, he isn't Mr. Robin, but he got mucho points for remembering.

You have mirroring body language. The next time you go out with someone, pay attention to their feet and hips. One of my favorite subjects in psych class was studying body language in couples. Studies have shown that the couples with the most chemistry and emotional attraction sit with their feet towards each other, their hips pointed towards each other and their chests towards each other. Also, if you make a gesture, and they respond in kind with something similar, chances are they are into you. (Example: you start to walk in step with each other).

They ask your advice. The biggest indicator of what your role in someone's life is the value that they place on you. If they have something on their brain, and we can all tell when someone does, typically a problem they share with you, is huge. If your mate were someone who placed a value on their career, for example, and were to share that they felt they were due for a promotion or raise, and seek your advice on how to get it, take note that to them, your opinion matters. You can also draw the conclusion that you matter as well. Now this isn't always indicative of them liking you, as friends are often sought for advice...so you should definitely tread lightly if this is your sole indicator.

You sense there is some chemistry between you, but others do too. I always say it is easier to see things happening with others than it is to see them in terms of yourself. It's why girls ask other girls how they look in clothes...sometimes it takes the view of an outsider to affirm our thoughts or feelings that we look good in an lutfit or not. So if others pick up on the chemistry between you and the object of your eye and comment on it, the more likely it is that something is there. But if they don't see it, it may not be there, so prepare yourself for that as well. Consider this before making a move.

They stare. Hard. Research shows that men and women connect and can form a connection with someone almost immediately with their eyes and I'm not talking about by assessing your physical assets. I have a friend who believes that eye contact is the best way to connect with the women he meets. So, whenever he went out to meet women, he'd find the one he was the most intrigued by, and get her to lock eyes with him. Not in a creepy way, but just casual glances. He told me that it helped him gauge her interest in him, but also created that connection. In cases where the woman saw him looking, but didn't keep his gaze or looked away and did not look back, he knew she was not interested and cut his losses before embarrassing himself. He looked for the eyes, and then some other small gesture, like a subtle smile, a wink or a slight bite of the lips. You could easily look for the same, whether it be a nod, head tilt, twirl of the hair, etc. I've tried that in situations where i wanted to get noticed, and it does not disappoint. People typically don't lock eyes with people they are in the friend zone with. But be careful, as you don't want to come off creepy. I recommend trying this method with a friend to gauge how much is too much. Have fun with it, get comfortable, make it natural.

They take an interest in the things you like. I will openly admit that I love to decompress by watching television and playing video games. In my mind, few things can compare to shooting the head off of a blood-crazed zombie. However, a secret obsession of mine that I'll share now, is curling up on the couch and enjoying the television shows Snapped and Bridezillas. I was involved with someone who had absolutely no interest in either show, but one lazy Sunday, he was reading a magazine and a new episode of Bridezillas came on television. Initially, he moaned and groaned about my having it on the TV, but after a while, was laughing right along with me as these women going into screaming fits, and joking with me about becoming like them. Eventually, it became a bit of a routine, and if we were relaxing and an episode came on, he watched it alongside me without complaint. Some could say it was because he liked the shows, which he now will say he sorta does, but he never would have given it a shot had I not asked him to humor me.

I could go on and on about more ways, but if a combination of these apply to you, chances are, you aren't a friend. Relationships are formed due to emotional, physical and mental connections. One form alone won't be enough, but if you have specific questions, feel free to email me directly and I'll do what I can to help. As always, share, comment and subscribe if you like what you read.

 

Ashley Robin

 

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