In language, the 'alpha' is often used to position in a social hierarchy, essentially being the first. The phrase "alpha male" or "alpha female" probably comes to mind. In terms of that same social hierarchy, 'beta' is second.
In every relationship, whether it be a parent and child, a teacher and student, or a romantic relationship regardless of gender, there's an Alpha and a Beta. I have a good friend, Taylor*, who is a beautiful and smart woman. She's recently had some success in her career, has a nice apartment, good sense of family and can take care of herself. But no matter what she does, she can't find a guy. So, she calls me in a bout of frustration and asks me the question I hear all the time, in different variations. "Ashley, I need to know. Why don't I have a man?"
My response was simple: "Taylor, as much as I love you and value you, I have to tell you the truth. No offense, but you are a class A, ball-busting, overly demanding bitch. And the honest truth is, the kind of guy you want..does NOT want a bitch." I remember her gasps even now. But it was the honest truth. Let me say that there's nothing wrong with being demanding. If it will go in your body, come into your home, become a factor into your work, affect your children, etc...please demand perfection all you wish. Know that you may not get 100% though, because when it comes to people, you can't expect perfection. Why? It simply doesn't exist.
Taylor had a reality to face in her truth. She was asking too much of a guy, was making too many demands right away and in turn, causing confrontation with guys who had strong boyfriend potential, and scaring away guys that had already dealt with demanding women and didn't want to deal with another.
There's a way you can test to see if you're too demanding like my friend Taylor, especially in relationships. I'll discuss that in Part 2.
Ashley Robin
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*name has been changed
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