Reality Versus the Dream: Why We Stay Single for so Long

I read an article the other day that talked about standards people set for their potential partners. Whether it be height, income, build, education, we've all built ourselves an ideal 'type' at one point. In my eyes, he was tall, funny, handsome and compassionate. He would have the soul of a dreamer, the heart of a warrior and unwavering values, be determined and have a passion for life. He was my ideal guy, and I always imagined he would enter my life in some epic way. Some 80's song would play as a light shined down on him, as if the powers that be were sending him right to me. Everyone else around would fade away, disappearing just as he sauntered up to me, giving him the perfect opportunity to introduce himself and in some way, tell me that I was the only person in his universe. Though that guy may exist in a John Hughes film, the idea of being hung up on a dream often prevents one from living in reality. 

Reality forces us to prioritize the most important things in our ideal mate, and we only start to do that once we have stepped out into the world and see it in all its unfiltered glory. Once we do, we start to realize that priority is something to consider and we must determine what ranks higher on our list of ideal traits. For example, I found that intelligence and confidence rank higher than brawn or good looks. It became evident as I dated, got involved and developed relationships with men, that what I wanted and needed are two different things. My match is a man who is secure in himself, who can make me laugh and someone whose shoulder I can cry on if the need arises,  rather than being blessed with long pretty eyelashes, muscles and a beautiful smile.  Instead of the handsome guy that lived in my dreams and held a radio outside my window in the rain, I wanted the guy whose face I'd wake up to for the rest of my life, until I'm old and greyed, safely in the real world.

So if you have yet to find your partner, ask yourself if you have made that list of priorities or if you don't wish to make the compromise. If you are willing to take the gamble, give the person who has 8 out of 10 of your requirements a shot, date someone unexpected, with whom you feel a chemistry. Go into it with no expectations, reservations or hopes. They just might end up being your Prince/Princess Charming.